Kidnapping: A part of Balinese tradition

In Bali weddings can be very expensive with food, priests, offerings to pay for. Also a girl from a high caste family may not get permission to marry a boy from a low caste family, for if she did, she would go to his level. The correct way to marry is to go through all the procedures and have a huge ceremony with everyone invited (mamadik). The other way to go is a ritual kidnapping, or elopement (ngorod).

Miguel Covarrubias writes about this in 1937 and its still a part of life today. With the aid of just a few friends, the soon to be bride and groom run away to another village and hide out for a while. Covarrubias writes 'Shy couples simply run away where they spend their honeymoon in hiding. But the Balinese love spectacular kidnappings. The girl arranges for her clothes to be taken secretly to their future hide-out, and on the appointed day she is captured somewhere on the road, in the fields, or in the river by the kidnapping party, led by her suitor. She is expected to kick and bite her abductors in sham self-defense, and although there may be witnesses, no one would dream of interfering, unless they are relatives of the girl, in which case they are supposed to put up a great fight. In Denpasar it is stylish to rush the girl away by hired motorcar.'

The funny thing about this is everyone knows how things will turn out, but must pretend otherwise. The girl's father must sound the alarm in the village and organize a search party. Upon returning to the village they will have a simple ceremony at the house of the boy's parents ( makala-kalaan) and 3 days later have another ceremony called a ketipat bantal, where the girl's angry parents have had a chance to cool down. Its all a dance that everyone must go through and part of the Balinese culture.