Are all Bali beach boys gigolo’s?

by Nick on May 15, 2006

by Nick | May 15th, 2006  

People come to Bali and its seems like paradise. The sun, sand and sexy locals, all sporting a smile and that intoxicating Balinese culture. Its enough to make a sane person lose their head. One of the emails I recieved asked if all the Bali boys were gigolo’s and could any of them be trusted. Here’s what I said.

Thanks for reading Baliblog. Regarding the Bali boys, there is a strange parallel with the Java girls. The Bali boys provide friendship, entertainment, romance for western / Japanese ladies, and the beach is the meeting place. Regarding the Java girls they do the same, although its way more cut and dried. The night scene is their hangout.

With both groups, money is the ultimate goal, although many may be sweet, funny, friendly people, who are actually honest and just trying to get money for their family back home. I have heard all the stories with Bali boys too, about them being married to more than one woman, even taking them both to the village separately, the relatives saying nothing. I’m not saying they are all bad or even gigolo’s. There are probably some okay guys.

I know a French guy who fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a hooker. He rented a big house and old her that her son and mother from Jakarta could live there too. He found out eventually, that no matter how much money he gave her, she always wanted more and actually never intended to stop being a hooker. Its he old saying ‘you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of he girl’.

I think on a general level in Bali, you have to adopt the attitude, that its all a bit of a fantasy. Westerners come here looking for fun and romance, locals are looking for good times and money. If all are satisfied, no worries, but when it gets serious you have to watch out.

Here’s a good rule of thumb. Ask yourself, does this guy have a full time job? During the time you have known him, has he asked you for money? Is he a flirt? Is he a drinker? If he is a partying fool, that’s what you’ll end up with. If he has a full time job, and actually receives a wage from somebody, that means he is someone who is somewhat reliable. Like I say, when you’re in Bali its part fantasy / part reality. If you plan on taking this guy overseas, you’d better make sure he’s got some qualities, other than being cool.

When you meet someone in a tourist environment in Bali, they are putting on their best face, in some respect. You are in fantasy mode. When you take them back to Australia, or go back to his village, fantasy mode is over and the ‘everyday’ side of one or both of you, comes out. Maybe the cool surfer, is a little brat, that needs you to wipe his ass and feed him 3 times a day. Maybe he’s also a great guy who you’ll want to be with long term. Who knows.

Take care and factor in the ‘Bali factor’ to whatever decisions you make.

{ 8 comments }

seanjohn bali May 15, 2006 at 7:38 pm
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the description is very good, perfect i would say.

Nick you could include all the story’s from the foreigner or experiates who live here, who was thinking could make it better and change something…
included me.. as we always learn, everyday haha

Very nice to read it!

Sven

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Eddie Tansil May 16, 2006 at 12:47 am
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Interesting take on the ” night/beach ” people that inhabit Bali.

The saying “Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas” rings true.

Maybe you should include stories of the “ratbag” expats that reside here, there are many.

Good and Bad exists in every culture, not all are tarred with the same brush.

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KEVIN May 16, 2006 at 8:29 am
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The growing gay community in Bali should also heed this advice. as i understand it Bali Boys are for the Boys and Kuta Cowboys are for the girls. In any event we should not confuse coomercial sex with money for Rice which is the case mostly in bali, especially with the high unemployment here. I have heard of many great love stories that have endured the years so who knows with matters of the heart

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sebastian May 16, 2006 at 10:40 am
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You can find both too…very easily. It just depends on what you are looking for.

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Kim Ariawan May 16, 2006 at 11:38 am
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I agree with Eddie good and naughty in every culture .I have a Balinese husband 2 children.We have been married 12 years ceremony in Bali then Aus .In that time we have lived and worked In Aus but visited Bali everyear for his family now it is time to live in Bali to learn there culture for our children .We have some friends the same as us happy in Bali or in Aus .Good not to generalize people as we are all individuals .
kim

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ptba.jk May 16, 2006 at 10:48 pm
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Bali Boys are not really Balinese Boys. Most of them now come from East Java, from cities like Banyuwangi, Jember, Pasuruan, just want to try their luck in the island.

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Kiki May 20, 2006 at 10:52 pm
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Is your life a bit of a fantasy also?

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wise September 13, 2007 at 10:53 pm
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peoples said hooker is old profesion, only different day with gigolo. It is like another profesion, good and bad person. It is economic rule, suply and demand. many tourist, man or woman. They are player too in Bali.

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