People come to Bali and its seems like paradise. The sun, sand and sexy locals, all sporting a smile and that intoxicating Balinese culture. Its enough to make a sane person lose their head. One of the emails I recieved asked if all the Bali boys were gigolo’s and could any of them be trusted. Here’s what I said.
Thanks for reading Baliblog. Regarding the Bali boys, there is a strange parallel with the Java girls. The Bali boys provide friendship, entertainment, romance for western / Japanese ladies, and the beach is the meeting place. Regarding the Java girls they do the same, although its way more cut and dried. The night scene is their hangout.
With both groups, money is the ultimate goal, although many may be sweet, funny, friendly people, who are actually honest and just trying to get money for their family back home. I have heard all the stories with Bali boys too, about them being married to more than one woman, even taking them both to the village separately, the relatives saying nothing. I’m not saying they are all bad or even gigolo’s. There are probably some okay guys.
I know a French guy who fell in love with a girl who turned out to be a hooker. He rented a big house and old her that her son and mother from Jakarta could live there too. He found out eventually, that no matter how much money he gave her, she always wanted more and actually never intended to stop being a hooker. Its he old saying ‘you can take the girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of he girl’.
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I think on a general level in Bali, you have to adopt the attitude, that its all a bit of a fantasy. Westerners come here looking for fun and romance, locals are looking for good times and money. If all are satisfied, no worries, but when it gets serious you have to watch out.
Here’s a good rule of thumb. Ask yourself, does this guy have a full time job? During the time you have known him, has he asked you for money? Is he a flirt? Is he a drinker? If he is a partying fool, that’s what you’ll end up with. If he has a full time job, and actually receives a wage from somebody, that means he is someone who is somewhat reliable. Like I say, when you’re in Bali its part fantasy / part reality. If you plan on taking this guy overseas, you’d better make sure he’s got some qualities, other than being cool.
When you meet someone in a tourist environment in Bali, they are putting on their best face, in some respect. You are in fantasy mode. When you take them back to Australia, or go back to his village, fantasy mode is over and the ‘everyday’ side of one or both of you, comes out. Maybe the cool surfer, is a little brat, that needs you to wipe his ass and feed him 3 times a day. Maybe he’s also a great guy who you’ll want to be with long term. Who knows.
Take care and factor in the ‘Bali factor’ to whatever decisions you make.