Living in Bali is different from living in the west. That is an under statement for sure and a very complex subject. I'll tell you that even after travelling for many years and having visited many Asian countries, I'm still learning how to deal with things that go on here. Tourists are often unaware of the things that go on and leave feeling like they have been to a sunny holiday place, with cute people in fancy costumes. Some expats, even long-term ones, struggle with certain aspects of life in Bali.
What exactly am I talking about? Well for starters there is a lot of corruption, which permeates every level of life here. If I get into a road accident and call the cops, the likelihood is that I will still come out worst and have to pay the cops too. In local disputes weight of numbers (local numbers) can often be the deciding factor, with locals absolutely never going against the banjar (foreigners will never be included in the banjar, but will be subject to getting taxed by them depending on the house that they own and the business they run).
A friend of mine recently told me he has lived in the same house for 3 years. During that time he has had 4 VCRs, 3 Walkmans, 2 cameras stolen. Each time there is a chunk of wood propped up against the perimeter wall. Recently he came home to find his male pembantu (cleaner) sitting on the floor cleaning the fan. Sitting at his desk he had a torn 50,000rp note which he had planned to take back to the bank to get replaced. It had been there for a while, but this time it was gone. The pembantu was starring at him and in that moment he knew who had stolen the other stuff. This guy had the keys to his house and had put the wood outside to suggest another entry route.
I asked why he didn't confront the guy. "Oh no, that would be very bad, he's the owner's son." he said. "But you caught him stealing your money." I said. "If I made him lose face he could get me thrown out of the house. With the rents in Seminyak, that's all the excuse the landlord would need to get me out and someone else in."
If that scenario happened and he protested aggressively, the local banjar would make sure he had to go and the cops probably would not want to get involved. "So how do you handle this guy now." I asked. "I tell him that I have had problem with other people stealing my stuff and that expect him to watch out for me." He said.
How you deal with this kind of thing greatly affects your own state of mind and the outcome. The western macho attitude of 'confront and overcome' will get you in a lot of trouble if used in the wrong situation, though there is a time for it. I remember my kung fu teacher talking about 'water goes around rock'. Some westerners like to think they are the rock (immovable object) and act accordingly. Actually the Balinese are the rock and the way to deal with life in Bali, as an outsider is to accept that and adapt, avoiding conflict and maneuvering into a more desirable space. A playful attitude is going to get you (and me) a lot further and with a lot less stress, than charging ahead.
The vast majority of Balinese people I meet on a daily basis are fun and friendly, always quick to smile and say hello (wish I could say that about my own country) and living here is good, after a few adjustments.
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Tricky situation for him. He told me that since then he has figured out the guy looks around the house for money, behind hte pictures, in the fridge etc. because when he comes home things have been moved.
I personally would of confronted him in a questioning manner away from other people. I’d tell him I kjnew he was a thief then say I’d tell his father if I didn’t get my stuff back.
Who knows the best way?
I have lived here for 6 yrs without a problem - Reason: 2 dobermans, a good safe and friends in the police. Once was assaulted by a balinese, who is now doing 4 yrs in jail. Best way to handle these people is to slot them and feed the remains to your dogs.
G’day Nick,
Excellent write-up mate. I think your friend handled the situation rather well considering what he had stolen. Indonesians tend to embarass easily and by putting the onus back on the pembantu, let him know ‘he knew’ and no doubt the pembantu was red-faced!.