Talking to an expat in Kerobokan Bali

Hi Nick,

Outstanding post. I hope you will continue to cover this subject in the future. I can certainly understand that guy’s point of view. As an immigrant myself, I, too, sometimes feel that way. I know one thing, if I want to be accepted in my community here in the States, I have to speak the lingo well and immerse myself in the local community. I think it’s a bit unrealistic for me to expect people
from different country, race and culture, to just accept me as one of their own if I only hangout with my fellow Indonesians and speak English only when necessary (eventhough I’m here probably half of my life). And “laying down roots” means more than just marying a local, buying a house or having a local business. Ask the Chinese-Indonesians, they’ll tell you. I know many Chinese-Indonesian friends who feel that they are not totally accepted as a local eventhough they and their parents were born in Indonesia.

I hope I’m not discouraging anybody here. All I’m saying, to be recognized as a “local” takes lots of effort and patience. Sometimes in y’all case means that not only you have to speak Bahasa Indonesia well, you also have to speak it with a Balinese accent..or even better, learn Balinese. I think the day you prefer “Kompas” than “Jakarta Post” or “Nasi Campur & Gado-Gado” than “Salad and Sandwiches” is the day that you can start thinking whether you want to be there permanently. Remember friends, as long as we act like an expat (”Bule” in your case) the locals will always see you as an expat.

How different is this from other countries? People do not accept outsiders readily. Perhaps never. If and when they do, it is noteworthy.

If left to individuals, I think foreigners would be embraced - somewhat. Government, media, religion, society restrictions, fear, jealousy, a sense of superiority - all play into the “you’ll never be one of us” mentality, no matter what.

I agree with Bob. Becoming part of a community helps. But even then…

A fascinating subject.

Very Interesting….
I agree with your thoughts/comments Mary..
That individuals accept foreigners, but the “Government, religion, media, society & too many other crazy factors etc, etc” are what create the whole “your not one of us stigma’s!”
I doubt it will ever change!
I guess it is like even when maddison & I go shopping & people will stop & ask me what Nationality either “the little girl is,(as if I am not her Mother!) or what Nationality is her Father?)
I guess that will be something she will have to grow up with too, I never really thought about it until now…
Luckily she is ver happy & proud to be “Half Australian & Half Balinese!”
In Bali 3 years ago I was asked by a group of Dutch tourists how old the child was that I was babysitting… I said she was my daughter & they were gobsmacked!!????

Very interesting post Nick.
“One visa away from being booted out” ………… now there’s a thought!!
It rather confirms the view I am coming to after 5 months in Bali.
In very simple terms, we expats want the exotic, sweet and inexpensive life and the Balinse want our cash.
On that basis, I’m hopeful I can work something out to keep me out of the rat race and in the Tropics.
No plans to start a business, marry a local, raise kids or do any of the other things that supposedly get you more embedded here (because they don’t!).
And the plan to buy some land to build a house will not happen overnight and is under continuous review.
All of which leaves Akari & I in the same position as your NZ pal (and you), as permanent tourists.
Could be worse.
We are off to Thailand/Cambodia in late Jan so let’s do a meet up before then.
Hope you are well.

Also something Gede will have to deal with now, living in Melbourne…. I wonder if he feels he will ever belong….????

Bob

Right on

Aloha

So Nick, has anyone bought anything weird enough yet for photographing????
Maybe you could move into Gede’s old place!!!!
Plenty of friendly faces there…..

I’ve never lived in Bali, but I’ve been there several times and I always feel accepted and not just for my money.
I speak just a bit of Indonesian, but I try to use the Balinese intonation, and maybe it’s working, because they assume I know more than I do. I also know just a few words of Balinese and they seem to appreciate my interest in their language.
I’ve sat on the floor, near the entrance to friends’ shops and said, “You buy, you buy?”, as tourists walk past. They look at me, because I’m obviously not Balinese, and I explain that I’m a trainee and don’t get paid. That will often get a laugh and sometimes get someone into the shop.
Last time I was there, I was talking to some Balinese friends who work at a transport arranging kiosk, when a couple of Japanese girls came in. My Japanese is limited to a few words and phrases, but I found a way to make them laugh, they stayed and bought a trip, and one of the guys said, “You got us that business.”
My wife, who I sadly lost 20 months ago, was English born like me, but was a very accomplished cabaret style belly dancer.
One time, we were taken to a [locals only] joged dance, by a Balinese friend, who knew Kathy was a dancer. We were the only “outsiders” there.
Half-way through, Kathy was invited onto the stage to dance with a Balinese dancer, not usual joged style, but as a performer of similar standing.
One of my sons married a Balinese girl over 5 years ago, and they have a 3 year old boy.
He certainly seems to be accepted by her family and by the neighbours in the village where they live. He comes to Australia now and again to earn money, but he does not see Australia as home. To him, home is Bali.
I’m certainly not trying to argue with anyone, particularly with those with far more experience than me, but I speak as I find.
Best Wishes Rex

Thanks, Rex, for showing another side. And I’m sure there are more embracing stories to be told. I wonder, though, if they are few and far between rather than the norm.

Sorry about your wife.

Thanks for sharing Rex….
I find also when staying in my husbands village that everyone accepts me & our daughter. Although as I don’t live there permanently (YET!) that each time we arrive they all come to just see if, how we have changed since last time etc & generally just come to have a look, after a week or so, it is just expected that I am to be there!

Also, sorry to hear about your wife..
May your life continue to be filled of happy memories!

Hi Nick

I love reading your stories. How I love Bali.

I did send a email a few months ago but I can’t find it so I don’t know if I got a reply to it. My Husband and I would like to move to Bali with our family to experience it even more. Is it hard to move to Bali and what do we have to do. Can Australian find employment easily in Bali?
Thanks and Happy New Year to very one

Nick

Ah! The first year in Bali is the Honeymoon period! Everything is new, exciting and your on such a huge learning curve.

Can’t wait to hear your stories and
opinions as your stay lengthens.

My other half is a Balo and no matter how long we live in Oz, he will never want to give up his Nasi for a Salad Sambo and vice versa for me in Bali!

Jenni,
That is funny…. Last night I cooked a Roast. I had a friend over too & said to Gede my hubby, do you want me to cook some nasi to go with it, he laughed & said I don’t have to eat nasi ever day you know! I had done extra potatoes & pumpkin hoping for a plate of leftovers for today…..
He ate everything!!!
I told him he has to go back to eating the nasi!!!!
Talking to a friend today she said her hubby takes sandwiches to work, but also nasi & egg or something…
We go out sometimes in Bali, I order Indo food & he get’s a pizza or a Burger, they always put the Western meal in front of me & give him the Indo food, we laugh & swap. Mind you our daughter always eats veggies & Indo Mie. yet in Bali she eats sandwiches!???

I agree, it’s a very simple quid pro quo. We want their culture, they want our cash. It’s a business transaction, plain and simple. There is nothing wrong with that. If you’re new (1-3 yrs expat), accept it as such, you will be much happier in the long run. You will never be Balinese, they will never be like you, thank goodness. That’s why you’re here. It dosen’t mean you can’t be great friends that show respect and honor for one another.

This post is fascinating…I studied wayang kulit in Bali just after the 2002 bombing and now that I have completed my master’s degree in the States, I am looking for a way to get back to Bali.

Indonesian language groups and self-teaching methods are abundant (Rosetta Stone, Colloquial Indo, etc..) but I cannot find anything about the Balinese lanuage.

Does anyone have any ideas (aside from immersion courses on Bali, itself)?

Terima kasih,
Liz