Meeting Patrice on Sunday in Bali

Nick & everybody else,
A writer friend of mine sent this to me this morning. Obviously this is a tad inappropriate for the Baliblog, but I had such a laugh from it I thought I would share it with you all.

Subject: Great Truths About Life-

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking
chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to
ask the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

Barrie,
Here are some details of finding “GOOD KARMA” in Amed…
From Kuta, take the Bypass Road North & turn East towards Amlapurna, after Amlapurna go through Tirtraganga, you go over a scenic Mountain, you then right off the main road at the small village intersection called CULIK (not Celuk)then after a few Km’s toward the water (NORTH) the road turns sharp right & travels along the water, “Good Karma” is along this road on the left, it is a few Km’s…
But I think once out in Amed people would be able to give you directions.. Apparently it is in the Lonely Plane Guide Book. I have not looked it up, but I have been told this.
Also a friend whom returned last Thursday said she went to Lovina & stayed in a place called “NIRWANA” the bartedred for the ‘New’ Deluxe rooms & got them down below $40 per night & she said the rooms were romantic & really nice.
Having trouble with the fact we don’t live together…HENCE a visa Application…Somehow just not that easy!!!!!!???

Barrie ,
Forget Nirwarna if you plan to sleep at night .. Its across the road from 2 late night bars that play very loud music until 3 am.. I learnt the hard way. I payed 200,000 pr room there..
However it is a nice little hotel ..
Plenty more to chose fom in Lovina .

Tracey, thanks for the info on Good Karma. If we do get that way and stay overnight then that would be the place to go.
Regarding your visa application. My wife and I live apart at this moment. My best advice to you is that when you get to Bali, grab hubbie (in a nice way!) and get to the Oz Embassy in DPS and do the application together. Actually there are booklets available from the Embassy regarding visas and I feel quite sure that if you went to the Immigration Dept in Melb then they would have the same booklets.
Hey Mick, thanks for your advice also. ‘On the ground’ advice is a treasure to any traveller. This is why any info/advice you and Nick give is invaluable. Actually you do look familiar to me and I am sure our paths have crossed somewhere. Are you a Perth lad?. Oh yes, I gave birth last year (lost a little weight!) but I still look 3 months preggo!.

Barrie,
Unfortunately we cannot lodge an application until September the 15th….
I had previously sponsored my Daughter’s Father…BIG MISTAKE!!!
I think it is best to pay the money here & let someone else do all the work!
But I will go into the Consulate & see what they have to say!!!!
CHEERS.

Barrie,

Thanks for the wisdom. Got any 40 specific humor?

Nick,
Geez mate, I sure haven’t seen any humour specifically for 40 year olds. Must be that patch of life when nobody wants to make fun of it. I sure know it’s been fun for me!.