Last year I developed a kind of routine that I used to find myself in.
Some days I would hit Café Moka in Seminyak for a quick coffee croissant in the morning and also go to Global Xtreme internet café in Kerobokan last thing at night. The funny thing was I’d always run into the same face, a guy from San Francisco named Cecil who was living in Bali collecting artwork.
We’d joke when leaving Global at midnight that we’d see each other in a few hours and the strangest thing happened when I bumped into Cecil in a Starbucks in Bangkok last August with Sean. He moved to Bangkok and was researching Thai artwork.
Well yesterday I was parking at Moka and who should I see through the window, Cecil! He is on vacation with his Thai girlfriend and was great vibes. After spending a year in Bali he’s pretty positive about the place and says it’s great to be back after the intensity of Bangkok.
Cecil has led a very colorful life and I’m not at liberty to tell his whole life story on the internet but let’s just say he’s been through the dark forest and out the other side. One of the things we talked about was the mentality of the Balinese and how we westerners deal with it. I recalled a piece of wisdom by saphir bali at Seraya Shores in Karangasem that the Balinese value harmony over truth and justice, and he nodded. Some things are a result of cultural conditioning but sometimes the culture thing gets used an excuse. Cecil said he’s really about treating others as they treat him and has a hard time with some of the local attitudes to lying and stealing. He told me an interesting story. There was a foreign business owner living in Bali who was having a bbq at his house and invited his staff and their families. Altogether 7 families said they were coming and he went out and bought all the food, drinks and other items he would need. Nobody came to the bbq and he was naturally very disappointed. Back at work he asked each employee why they told him they were coming and then didn’t show up. What he came to realize was in Balinese / Asian culture when someone invites you to their house it is impolite to refuse. Telling the boss ‘no’ then not coming is 2 rejections, but saying ‘yes’ then not coming is partly good, partly bad.
I have another friend who has lived in Bali for over a decade who loves reminding me how little I know about Bali. “Bro, Indonesian women will tell you what they think you want to hear.” he once said. I think there is some truth to that.
Cecil is heading back to Bangkok and I wish him all the best.
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True Mary…
I think everyone has atleast a few times answered a question with something that maybe is not correct, but that has pleased the person asking the question!!!
That’s life!!!
“Bro, American employees will tell their bosses what they think they want to hear.”
“Bro, American politicians will tell their public what they think they want to hear.”
And so it goes, not only in Indonesia with Indonesian women.
Learning the culture is difficult. Once you have, whether you accept it or not is irrelevant, you can move around, beside it, in it with some comfort and confidence.