Interview with Jay Bishoff: Post Bali Bomb tourist-part III
Jay: When you ask what I mean about the culture and what to I like about it. First of all, the first thing you notice in Bali is people offer these wonderful smiles that really don't have any deception, there is nothing tarnished about 95% of Balinese smiles. They're just gorgeous and it's a true smile and I challenge anyone to find another part of the world where you will find more 'free smiles'. I call them 'free smiles' because it's a person not expecting anything else, offering a beautiful smile to brighten your day and that maybe sounds a bit cliche.
Baliblog: Probably similar to the New Guineans?
Jay: Well Papua New Guinea yes, but they are more tribally aware there. They are like 'well if you're not from our tribe who are you?' kind of a thing. Whereas I don't feel that here in Bali. I have been to many tourist places, like Bali runs on tourism of course and yet it's not a smile that says "I want your dollar." We're talking about, it's a true smile.
Baliblog: Do you find that to be generally true across the island or just up at Batukaru where you hang out?
Jay: Right across the island. It happened to me at Bintang supermarket in Seminyak 2 hours ago. I couldn't believe it, of course it helped that I had my little 6 month old daughter with me. Here's another thing I love about the culture, I can go on and on. But I love the way they appreciate kids. You sort of realize that when you get here. It's amazing, it's very different from a western country, Germany, UK,
America, Australia. It's a huge difference because Balinese, and I guess Indonesians in general, love children so much, a baby is a magnet. Balinese people, men women, children all ages. We've just found strolling around Ubud or at Batukaru, or right here in Seminyak whatever it doesn't matter, people see your baby and they just go mad. Often they will come up and take your baby from you and say "Thank you very much" and pass it around and its all with love and a with the most beautiful smiles. Because the women tend to have babies so early and are raised with an extended family all round, they have these wonderful skills of mothering. An 18 or 20 year old has these wonderful skills, knowing how to hold the baby. It's a very baby-friendly, child friendly society I find, don't you? You can pass your baby around. We were in Ubud and went out to eat. The moment we walked in the servers came up an "Oh oh look at the baby!" They approach you with open arms and these huge smiles, the open arms are saying 'Give me your baby.' So you are sort of like, that might be strange for an Australian or an American who might think 'I don't know these people'. But the energy is so positive and so contagious, so supportive when you are parents with a new born child travelling around a country. So you basically say 'Okay here's my baby'. And you think the baby is going to be cuddled for a minute then they will give it back. Nope, they want to show it to the other employees, so pretty soon you've got 5 or 6 waitresses taking care of your baby.
Baliblog: Ika and I went out to eat last night and in the restaurant there were about 2 girls and 6 guys gathered around Jevon for 40 minutes.
Jay: It's so healthy and we don't have that in the west, it's this respect for personal space. We think respect for private space is really important in our individualistic nations and it's been really different here because we are not as communally based, because we don't have the extended family in the west, up and running anymore. So all these things lead to this nuclear family hell (in the west). It's the dream, but once you get in it and you are just 2 parents trying to raise a child, or a single parent, that's the worst of all. To be a single parent in the west, what a nightmare. It's challenging and it's like the old saying, 'it takes a whole village to raise a child', I think they live that, they really live that here. It's not a cliche, it really happens, and if you bring your child here from the west you will feel it immediately. It's just amazing, sitting here in a restaurant in a foreign country and you are able to spend about 30 minutes catching up with your wife while your baby is cared for, by about 5 or 6 experienced mothers. One of the examples was in a restaurant in Ubud. A cop came in he was talking to the young girl behind the counter and he saw the baby was like "Wahhh!!!" just like all the other servers. The cop comes over and he's like 'baby baby' and he had to hold the baby. So you've got this officer with his gun and his badge and he's cuddling our baby and making funny faces, cooing at the baby. I don't know but I don't think this is going to happen in Australia or America. We also realized that maybe he was using the baby to attract the girl behind the counter. He loved the baby and he had the skills, but also he was probably trying to impress the girl. You know like 'look what a good daddy I can be'. The whole thing was great. So that kind of thing really enchants me. When you asked 'what do you like about the people?', well I like a culture that is child friendly and old people friendly. I mean it's great, already you are starting to win me over. I'm not just romanticizing, every place has problem's Bali has intense problems, we are talking about the aspects I like, and another thing I love is the attention to ceremony and aesthetics. Things are made to look beautiful and there is a lot of care taken.
By Nick | Permalink
Related Posts
- Todays Word of the Day is Senyum
- Friday night in Seminyak Bali
- Two sides of life in Bali
- Status of my child in Bali
- How Balinese feed young kids
Subscribe
|
Print
|
Share              |
Comments
ss
It’s accepted but not policy. They aren’t “intentionally” cheating; but if they don’t know the right answer, they’ll tell you the next best thing.
But get real Jay–that hee hee ha ha with the kids is common throughout Asia and does not mean that you need to check in to the Sacred Sanctuary resort and stick your yin into your yang….
Actually the Balones and Indonesian culture is warm, gentle and constant smiles. This is not pretemd but from their heart. The lying and corruption we see some of them display is as a result of our Western teaching’s of Lying, Stealing, Corruption and Colonising other peoples homeland. We should look in our own heart’s and history and every county that was colonised by Dutch, British, Portugese, Spain etc has all the same symptoms Corruption,Downtrodden lack of Leadership. So we should walk in their shoes and smell our own dirty feet before we judfe them harshly.Some countries like America, Ireland, Hong Kong East Europe have thrown off the shackles of Colonialism but at a high price, because we duplicate our improve our own forms of 2nd hand Colonialism.
HEAR HEAR KEVIN!
That’s the thing:The Balinese will smile at anyone - even if they are a complete arseholes.
The smile means nothing and just masks their true feelings.
That’s Indonesian culture. I’ve lived here 10 years and seen Indonesians smile as they inform someone that a close relative has died.
The smiles are nice, but they mean nothing. Tourists are so naive and dumb, they are unable to
understand what Indonesian people really think and feel. Tourists just think cos the Balinese smile all the time they all like ‘em. Well just ask smiling bomber Amrozi about that…
indocoup,
The place is hot and humid. The smiles are fake. Corruption is endemic. The immigration law is ridiculous. So what are you there for? What made you put up with those shits for ten years? There must be something that you love or else you would have gone long ago, right?
phil > there are good & bad things about most places. Indonesia included. All i’m saying is don’t look at the place as you would like to see it, but as it really is. Anyway, its highly patronising and insulting to look at the Balinese as a bunch of meek smiling people with a “they’ll do anything for a westerner” attitude. That’s sick. Sure you rich foreigners can flaunt your wealth in Bali and buy their smiles, but how many Balinese can do that in Aus?
indocoup,
Okay, please enlighten me with your true version of Indonesia. What you like and don’t like about the place, people, and culture, etc. You’ve been there for 10 years, so you must have a lot of experience and wisdom to share.
I know it is none of my business, but I am kind of curious how you support yourself. Do you work for a multi-national? Or own a business?
Hey, are plastic surgeons in great demand in Bali? Women from richer neighboring countries would probably come to Bali for plastic surgery if the price is right and the quality is good. Is there any market for native English speaking nurses?
They smile for a reason allright, the reason they are smiling is just not always easily perceived by a westerner,
Often they smile to mask embarrassment, to save face as in the case of a dead relative, it’s just their cultutre you cannot judge form a western culture view point and there is a reason.
Sometimes they smile because just because that is life and it is tough here, but in that toughness they can still gain pleasure and contentment from nothing, just being, again this can be difficult for a many westerners to grasp, because in the west why would you be happy without a reason!!
And of course they smile sometimes to ingratiate themselves
Amrozi was smiling for a reason, he was happy because he believed he had done Allahs work,
There are many reasons for a smile here some bad, some good, some crazy.
Phil - there are western nurses on Bali, However the hospitals here are third world. I wouldn’t have anything done here unless I had no other option available to me.
Yes Tony, life is tough on Bali….. Just imagine it for the girls that have to fcuk ugly fat fcukers like you for a living.
You da man tonie… as always.
I can and do get any woman I like for “free”.
really? I bet you are as butt ugly as the words that come out of your mouth.
The simply logic goes like this: handsome people don’t have to be a mean spirited bitch to make a point.
Everyone here would agree with me that you are mean-spirited, asshole nigga-bitch. therefore, you must be as ugly as a fat nigga bitch’s butt.
Tony,
I think most people here (except for a few) don’t give a damn if you love serious whoring or not. It’s the thing you love, and so be it.
The problem is with you fricking asshole on your face called mouth. It spits shits no diferrent than the one on your arse. That’s what people hate you for. You have no business bitching about other people’s life styles and opinions.
Comprende jose?
I couldn’t agree more Tony, there is no need for name calling, I for one can easily believe you are Hanshum and succesful man, after all everyone knows that hanshum and succesful men all love to spend their time hanging around blog sites trolling and telling everybody there that they are a very hanshum and succesful man.
Cyberspace don’t you just love it. Hahahahahahah
Tony,
I don’t get it. Why are you trying so hard to convince other men that you are handsome? What’s the point? unless you are trying to attract these men.
I was only asking an honest question. I thought it was weird for a grown-up man to try to convince other grown-up men on how handsome he was.
You seem to be a very arrogant and bitter man.
Btw, I like tofu. They are great healthy food. You can buy it at whole food supermarkets. You should try it someday.
Yeah. Go up to Besakih and see how the smiley thing works there. Give some cash to the “guardians of the temple” and that’s how you’ll see some smiles.